Thursday, August 9, 2007

If Airlines Sold Paint

If Airlines Sold Paint:
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up
to $200 a gallon.

Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.
Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you
will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and
continue painting until at least Sunday.

Customer: You've got to be *&%^#@* kidding!
Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.
Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!
Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sell only a
certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the
price per gallon just went to $16. We don't have any more $12 paint.

Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of times a day,
and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with your paint yet,
we just decided to change. I suggest you purchase your paint as soon as
possible. How many gallons do you want?

Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I'll have enough.
Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don't use it,
there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already
have.

Customer: WHAT?
Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and
north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will
lose your remaining gallons of paint.

Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already paid
you for it!

Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used, every
drop. If you don't, it causes us all sorts of problems.

Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I don't
keep painting until after Saturday night!

Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the $200
paint.

Customer: But what are all these, "Paint on sale from $10 a liter" signs?
Clerk: Well that's for our budget paint. It only comes in half-gallons. One
$5 half-gallon will do half a room. The second half-gallon to complete the
room is $20. None of the cans have labels, some are empty and there are no
refunds, even on the empty cans.

Customer: To hell with this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!
Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for your
bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining room from someone else,
but you won't be able to paint your connecting hall and stairway from
anyone but us. And I should point out, sir, that if you paint in only one
direction, it will be $300 a gallon.

Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!
Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the point at which you
started. A hallway is different.

Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in one
direction, you'll confiscate the remaining paint.

Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference on our
next gallon of paint. But I believe you're getting it now, sir.

Customer: You're insane!
Clerk: Thanks for painting with United.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

The Apostle Paul

In church today we discussed the conversion of Saul to become the apostle Paul. I started thinking about it, and I asked myself a question.

Saul was a very wicked man. He witnessed (and approved of) Stephen's death. He persecuted the saints. He put the saints in jail. And he worked tirelessly to fight against the gospel.

We find a similar person in the Book of Mormon. Alma the younger also sought to fight against the gospel. He mocked the saints, he persecuted them. He flattered the righteous into sin. He took joy in his sins and the sins of those around him.

Both Saul and Alma the younger were wicked men. They were zealous in their pursuit of the destruction of the church. And yet, they were both converted to great preachers and followers of Christ. They both had an experience where they were asked why they sought to fight against God. And that if they continued it would be to their own destruction. They both had angelic ministrations to put them on the correct path.

So the question that came to me is, "Why would the Savior personally see to their conversion, and not that of others?" Why them? There are lots of wicked people in this world, people who could (if converted) be effective preachers of Christ. Why doesn't Christ see to their conversion?

I've been thinking about it all day. I've been talking about it with different people. I even expressed some of my thoughts about it. Before I explain my thoughts on the topic now, I feel that I need to give a disclaimer. First, no man can know the disposition of God. I don't know if we can or will know it this life the reason for everything. Second, I truly believe that every person has the responsibility to understand and make peace with any part of the gospel they have questions about. I think questions are good. They open the way to a better understanding.

So here are my thoughts about today's question.

I think that Christ does pay attention to the conversion of every individual soul. We may not all receive angelic visitations or hear a voice telling us to believe. However, we do all receive personal experiences that are meant for us to learn from. Every single one of us has the opportunity to receive personal revelation and divine influence. I think this qualifies as the voice telling us to convert, to repent and be saved.

The other part of this, is that only God knows what's in someone's heart. He could see what Alma the younger and Saul could be. He also knew what it would take to make them tools in his hands. He knew that both Alma and Saul were zealous in their efforts. Once they were brought to a knowledge of the truth, they would remain strong for the rest of their life.

How many times do we read about people being witness to signs, to prophecies, and to miracles. And yet, they still refuse to believe. We see the Jews that witnessed everything that Christ did during his ministry, and yet still wouldn't believe. We see the Nephites who had miracles worked among them, but still refused to repent just a few hundred years after the coming of Christ. People who rely on signs for their faith will find themselves doubting when they no longer have the signs right in front of them.

So why Saul? Why Alma the younger? Look what they became. Look what they accomplished when they started doing the Lord's work. They struggled. They suffered for their faith. It was not easy. But once converted they worked tirelessly, fearlessly, to overcome their past and improve their future.